Dear Awakened Aunty, 

I am in a throuple and I want out! I live with them and I am really nervous about sharing this with them as it could disrupt my living situation. How do I go about breaking with them both? 

-Unicorn wanting to exit

Dear Unicorn wanting to exit,

You sound stressed! 

I was stressed with one relationship - I even got divorced! 

A throuple - you mean a threesome couple? 

Although Aunty has been to a few big parties since her divorce, she hasn’t done that one yet. But, I feel your tension. 

One-horned beta, maybe you’re a little avoidant? It’s natural to be a little nervous, to want to run away and to sweep it all under the rug. Our community is very good at doing this thing. Out of sight, out of mind. We don’t think about all the stuff that builds up over time.

Your Ex-Uncle was a master at this thing, he had no idea how to blow off steam in a healthy way. 

Don’t wait until the build up becomes unavoidable, or, you get diagnosed with high-blood pressure beta. You’re too young and hip to do this. You never know beta, they might want to break up with you too? 

So, rip the band-aid off. Right off. Say what you want, listen to them say their peace, and discuss the next steps of your shared living situation. Expect some drama. Some high flared emotions. If it arises, channel your inner Rekha and gracefully exit stage left.

Now, the wound will sting when it’s revealed. It’s okay. A little pain is good for the soul. To heal it, you might need to find new roommates, spend a few days rotting in bed watching reruns of your favourite TV show (I suggest the doctor one, with the hot McDreamy and McSteamy), write angry text messages and delete them, or buy yourself a new pair of shoes. One, or all, of these things will help cure the breakup blues. 

If you were my beta, I would make you a hot chai, give you a hug and tell you it’ll be fine, like my father did for me. 

He would say, “It’ll all be fine, beta, it’ll all be fine.”

-Aunty 

Awakened Aunty is SAARI's Advice Columnist. Written by a real person, with all the wit and relatable wisdom of the Aunty you wished you always had.