Dear Awakened Aunty, 

I see all my friends being successful on social media. I don’t feel like I’ve made it or will ever make it. I wake up every morning feeling drained. What can I do?

-Feeling Lowdown and Out

Dear Beta,

Let me start by telling you a story. 

I have a friend, Aunty Sonia, we’ll call her. Her Facebook posts are amazing. All these photos of her going to amazing places with her family, big smiles, designer bags and a house that looks like it belongs in Architectural Digest. 

It was all so perfectly curated. 

And that’s exactly what it was - Curated. 

Many years of envy later, I came to learn that behind the scenes, Aunty Sonia was severely depressed. She had everything that we’ve been told to want, career success, family, status and wealth, but even with it all she was deeply unhappy, disconnected and struggling. 

It was in that moment that I realised two things: 

          1. What you see, isn’t what’s always real; and 

          2. Having it all, doesn’t mean having it all. 

This is the social media highlight reel trap. 

Beta, it sucks to watch other people’s highlight reels when you don’t feel like you’re where you want to be. 

But, do you know what sucks more?

Having a life that is a highlight reel to everyone else but yourself - A life you can’t appreciate or enjoy. 

This was Aunty Sonia’s definition of success. 

It was externally focused. 

I disagreed. 

Success for me was doing what felt true to me. To have a life that felt as good on the inside as it looked on the outside. To be at peace. 
What does success look like and feel like for you, beta? 

Dig into this. See what comes up. 

This will be a good springboard to tune into what truly brings you joy and fulfillment. Look and go beyond societal expectations. Take time to reflect on your passions, values, and dreams.

And beta, for God’s sake, put your phone down. Disconnect. Give yourself time to reconnect with real life. 

Remember beta, your definition of success is unique to you and it can change over time. That’s okay. Embrace your path. Walk it at your pace. Celebrate your progress as you go. And let the highlight reel of others inspire you, not defeat you. 

-Aunty 

Visit the SAARI Directory or Shapes and Sounds for a list of South Asian and Asian Australian mental health practitioners that can help with social media addiction. 

Awakened Aunty is SAARI's Advice Columnist. Written by a real person, with all the wit and relatable wisdom of the Aunty you wished you always had.